Divorce: attorneys are the only winners
There’s a joke that scientists are starting to use lawyers instead of lab rats for their experiments. Scientists were apparently getting too attached to rats and there are some things that even rats don’t do.
Is this cynical? Maybe. But there is also an element of truth when it comes to lawyers and divorces. During a divorce, your emotions are on high alert and you may not be thinking clearly. This inattention to the attorney’s clients is like blood in water to sharks.
If you can put your emotions aside for a moment, you and your spouse will find that mediation is a much better option than going to lawyers and courts.
IMPORTANT POINT: Courts do not need to decide the division of marital property, child support, and spousal support during a divorce. You only need the courts to make the whole process official and final. If both parties to the marriage can file a self-negotiated settlement in court, the courts are perfectly fine with this option. This is why it is so important to do most of the groundwork before you go to court.
If you try to negotiate a settlement through your respective attorneys, you will end up spending a lot more money than you actually need.
Imagine this scenario: Attorney A sends Attorney B a letter outlining his clients’ position on any particular issue. Attorney B receives the documents from Attorney A and then sends his own document to Attorney A acknowledging receipt of Attorney A’s documents. Attorney A sends a quick note to Attorney B acknowledging receipt of the documents. If you listen carefully, you can hear the attorneys chuckling as they calculate exactly how many payments they can make on their high-end luxury car on your back.
As ridiculous as it may sound, I am ashamed to admit that this has happened to me. It is maddening to learn that thousands of dollars were spent unnecessarily because two parties could not come up with their own solution. If you let your emotions run wild, lawyers will capitalize on this weakness and start charging you hundreds of dollars for an administrative tug of war.
I realize that it is not fair to stereotype an entire profession or group of people, but if lawyers really had their clients’ best interests at heart, they would send their clients a letter that says: Negotiate a settlement yourself or you. we will charge a large amount of money. for your stupidity.
There are other options available if you and your partner cannot negotiate an agreement on your own. Mediation is a viable option that can get the job done and save both parties a great deal of money. In the end, long after the divorce is final and emotions have subsided, both parties will appreciate having used mediation.
Like all things in life, choose a mediator wisely. Not all mediators are competent and effective. If you can find a mediator that both parties agree with, you are on your way to dissolving your marriage.