How to deal with negative people – Part 2

In How to Deal With Negative People, Part 2, we discuss the two types of negative people and your number one strategy for dealing with them.

As you may recall, your number one strategy for dealing with both “obvious negatives” and “insidious negatives” is to AVOID THEM.

But…sometimes you just CAN’T avoid them. They can be family members, in-laws, neighbors, or people you work with.

So how do you protect yourself from being negatively affected (or “infected”) by these negative people?

Here are my suggestions:

1. Build your immunity!

As a reader of this article, you already are, but other strategies include:

— Surround yourself with positive people;

— Do things that make you happy;

— Take care of your health;

— Appreciate the funny side of things (laugh regularly!);

— Take pride in how you look and present yourself;

— Be thankful for all the good things and people in your life;

— Read and learn about — and from — inspiring people; and

— As the song says, “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, stick to the affirmative” (Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen).

It sounds corny, but I really can’t say it better than Bing Crosby sang it! (And this doesn’t mean ignoring bad or tragic circumstances, just taking steps to eliminate negative consequences.)

Do all these things and you will be almost invincible against other people’s negativity!

2. Limit your exposure.

Although you can’t avoid some negative people, you may be able to LIMIT your exposure to them. If they are relatives or in-laws, interact with them only when necessary to fulfill your family responsibilities.

If they are co-workers, keep your interactions with the job at hand. Don’t socialize with them outside of work or engage in gossip or arguments that escalate into tirades or complaints.

3. Solve the problem or change the subject.

Let’s face it: limiting your exposure can only work up to a point. I mean, what if a co-worker is negative about the job in question, or worse, YOUR job, or even YOU?

Well, depending on the situation, the best thing to do is address their complaint to resolve the “problem” or, if nothing is likely to satisfy them, change the subject to something more positive.

For example, if they complain about the company, the boss or you… you could say, “What can we do about it?” or “what can I do to correct this?”

What you are doing is moving the discussion from something negative (the perceived problem) to something positive (the solution).

Of course, there are some people who don’t want to know about the solutions (they’d rather complain or wallow in self-pity).

With people like this, you better change the subject entirely.

For example, if the person is complaining about the company, you could comment on something else the company is doing right.

Or… you can always start singing. (Hey, if you don’t think this could happen, you haven’t worked at a big law firm with 100-year-old partners!)

So there you have it: some tips for dealing with negative people. Use them and enjoy more positive relationships!