Friendship – Bridge between hearts

We all know that human beings are sociable by nature. It is due to this nature of ours that social life has an immense infusion in our individual life. Perhaps that is why the great Greek philosopher Aristotle affirms that man is a social animal. Now, friendship, if we look at it more, is an indispensable reality of social life. In this brief work my objective is to give a general idea of ​​what true friendship is, its importance and its benefits.

Denis Diderot, in his encyclopedia, defines friendship as “commerce (with someone) in which the heart is interested in the pleasure derived from it.” Diderot further posits that commerce involving the pure mind rather than the heart is acquaintance, not friendship. I would like to add a point to his statement. According to him, the heart captures the interest in the “pleasure” derived from friendship. Seeking only pleasure in friendship seems quite self-centered and unoriginal. Furthermore, the source of affection and love between people, other than relatives, cannot be based simply on pleasure. The truth is, however, that when the heart finds an interest in the “virtues of others”, it is true friendship. Pleasure, that is, is one of the many influential results of a faithful relationship.

Many have also questioned the durability of friendships; How long is a friendship between individuals estimated to last, relative to various circumstances? The time period of a general friendship is considered to depend on multiple factors, such as the intensity of the bond, age, housing, etc. Despite this information, I personally believe that a true friendship is eternal, or more specifically, has eternal memories; both happy and sad. In some cases, friends may not be practically together due to remoteness of residence and/or excessive effort at work. Yet again and again, apart in their hearts, mutual affection resounds; they are present in the hearts of others. I would now invite readers to pay attention to the benefits of being under this umbrella of true love and source of everlasting memories.

benefits of friendship

For quite some time, psychologists and researchers have been tempted to discover the benefits of friendship. Although exploration still continues on the subject to a great extent, so far, tons of studies and shows have declared that friendship is “life-enhancing” (1). Instead, the absence of friendship, or simply said; loneliness is considered harmful to mental and physical health. The question is, what aspects of life and health does friendship influence, so that we call it “life enhancement”? Let’s explore the answer.

Conventional intelligence believes; friendships increase an individual’s sense of happiness. Happiness, in turn, has dozens of positive biological and psychological impacts. For example, according to research by Kira M. Newman, writer and editor, happiness systemically protects the heart, strengthens the immune system, lowers stress, fights disease and disability, and increases longevity. A couple of other potential advantages of friendships, proposed by many researchers, include the opportunity to learn empathy and problem solving. Also, in front of friends, an individual feels comfortable with his personal identity and her innate habits. Such a comfortable zone directs the person towards no pressure; rather, it contributes to self-confidence and social development.

Also, true friends are selfless and supportive of their partners in difficult times. They can act as a source of motivation for others, in relation to the difficulties of life. A Mayo Clinic report parallels the prescription: friendships “increase your sense of belonging and purpose”; In addition, “they help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, a serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one.” Therefore, it can be confessed that friendships are highly effective also for the affective dimension of human beings.

conflicts in friendship

Also in friendships, as in any other relationship, the people involved may fight from time to time. These disputes are temporary and are diluted by the warmth of mutual affection and understanding between true friends. However, a lack of productive efforts or knowledge can also exacerbate the situation. Therefore, it is prudent to explore the basis of these clashes, to prevent them in the first place. Sufficient knowledge on the subject can also help a person to distinguish his real friends from the fake ones. In this section, I outline (and clarify) the reasons for conflict in friendships on three main bases; triviality, external reasons and gaps in communication.

First, disputes can arise when an individual involved takes a trivial approach, intentional or not, in relation to the friendship. A trivial approach, technically, refers to expressing insignificance in friendship or not taking responsibility for being a sincere friend. This may be due to a lack of knowledge about the role of responsibility in the friendship on the part of the person (unintentional) or deliberate reasons (intentional), leading to false friend warning. The unintentional case generally refers to the lower age groups of the society. Note Khalil Gibran’s insightful words on the matter, “friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity (2)”. It should be noted that responsibility in friendship is never onerous, for this reason Mr. Gibran uses the word “sweet” before responsibility to rule out any kind of misleading interpretation.

Secondly, a third party intends to endanger the friendship between individuals, out of hatred or personal interest. Assuming that motivation, loyalty and honest communication between friends are the best remedies to thwart any evil intervention.

Finally, communication gaps occur when the receiver does not understand the message that the speaker intends to convey. The reason behind this, as the name suggests, is poor communication. In friendships, this leads to misunderstandings and, therefore, to negative evaluations of others. The solution to the problem lies in the communication itself. Honest and open communication, or technically effective communication skills, can ultimately close communication gaps and reduce the likelihood of their proliferation.

To conclude, friendship is an amazing gift of life and something special; one that systematically benefits friends on a social and mental level, and in another sense, psychologically strengthens their willpower to live life with confidence and optimism, regardless of what the circumstances are. Obviously, true friendship demands certain responsibilities at times, however, one must always remember that such responsibilities are “sweet”, eventually resulting in the creation of timeless and pleasant memories! And once these memories are implanted in the brain, they somehow find a way to sprout the flower of love in hearts. That’s why I think we can build friendship as a “bridge between hearts” – don’t you agree?

References

1. Telfer, E., 1970-71, “Friendship”, Proceedings of the Aristotelian Society, 71: 223-41.

2. “Quotes from Khalil Gibran.” smart quote. np, 2016. Web. September 20, 2016.