10 signs your date is a freak
She looks really smooth, but it’s all hooks. Don’t let me hang you from one of them. – from Jane Russell’s classic movie The Fuzzy Pink Nightgown
The line between quirky and weird isn’t as thin as people casually say. First, the connotations of the word “peculiar” are not entirely negative; interesting, complicated and harmless is how we see the descriptor. “Strange”, however, usually connotes strange, indecipherable, and potentially cautious.
What qualifies as a freak? What’s the difference between unique, creative, quirky, and weird? I don’t know if there is an official definition of “freak”, but I do know that I have dated some in the past. From experience, I can tell you that this “oddity” seems to manifest itself suddenly. When you go out with a person on a third date or something, you can immediately start asking yourself, “Was that weird?” “Am I thinking too much?” “Whatever. Everyone does weird things, right?”
The worst case scenario is finding yourself stuck dealing with a freak; This can turn into a simple annoyance or a complex “head-to-head” treatment. The truth is that the arrows pointing to “weird” are always there, but we don’t always know how to see them. It is not really a popular topic of conversation nor is it talked about in the media. I mean talking about weirdoness is weird.
To put it in the harshest way, some weirdos can result in safety issues, for example, the obstacle of being harassed or emotional reaction.
However, if I had known how to read some of the early signs, it could have saved me some time and headaches.
So even though I’m not an expert on psychology or social behaviors etc, looking back, listening to stories, and reading have sharpened my ability to spot a freak, to see the signs in focus.
10 signs he’s a “freak”
1. Passive aggressive behavior / attitude. For example, subtle or disguised insults, such as “oh, I see, you’re trying to make a joke.”
2. Change of subject. If the date is listening to you, they will be interested in continuing the topic of conversation that you have raised. However, if the person is not listening or suffers from a narcissistic personality, they will bring up what they want to discuss instead of listening to what you have to say.
3. Push. For example, “You have to take a picture with me; I’m going to take you out. It’s the least you can do.” It may even sound flirty or charming, but look beyond the presentation and look for the reasoning behind the comment or pressure.
4. No friends. If you don’t have friends; don’t expect the person to know how to be a good friend to you.
5. Reject all their ideas. Weirdos have strange reactions to normal interactions. They may feel threatened by letting you choose a location or make an appointment.
6. Inadequacy. Towards you or others. He said nothing.
7. Makes demands. Instead of telling you what you are going to do tonight, someone who is not weird will ask you what you are doing or what you want to do. Comments like “tonight, I want you to come to dinner with me.” It doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Especially if it is a good place. But before you start planning what to wear, examine the shade.
8. Getting too personal too fast. Once a person starts asking you about things that you only share with your best friend or therapist, that’s a red flag.
9. Prospects of judgment, proclaiming “types”. Making excessive generalizations about others or labeling others demonstrates the ability to disconnect from perceiving others as individuals, which may be a lack of empathy and / or compassion.
10. Constant registration. This is a great red flag, especially if it is early in your courtship. This can mean many negative aspects such as jealousy, obsession, insecurity, boredom, lack of understanding of limits, possessiveness and many other strange traits.
I felt weird making this list, probably because it’s not exactly a comfortable topic, but all the same, I hope it can be an enriching read.
I’m sure I missed a lot of red flags; What can you add to the list? Have you had any run-ins with weirdoness?